Saying the Right thing When You Don’t Know What to Say

On November 10th of 2018, the mother of a dear friend literally dropped dead while she was shopping with her son. My friend was still in shock when she informed me about her mother’s death. I referred to what I learned in Saying the Right Thing When You Don’t Know What to Say. Instead of making awkward conversation, I asked my friend how I might support her as she processes the myriad of feelings that emerge when we lose a loved one. She told me that she felt safe expressing her feelings of loss and grief to me, because I was open to listening. This has brought us closer to one another than ever before. I’ve begun to memorize some of the key phrases in the book so that I can apply them in my professional life as well. It’s amazing how powerful compassionate communication can be.

—Annemarie M. Osborne

WOW! Just bought this book earlier today, and already read it. Very useful information! Indeed, we often don’t know what to say to friends and family members at times of loss, emotional trauma, or simply in difficult situations. Paula’s book is great, as it gives a lot of guidance for those moments in life when we may feel awkward or don’t know how to show consideration without intruding too much into a person’s pain.

—Lana Black

There were many good suggestions with examples of ways you can say something to a person when you just don’t know what to say. Situations like illness, divorce, funerals, and many other daily situations and events. Could also use some of the ideas in there to write in a card to the person.

—Jeanne Walter Shaw

Gives a stunningly fresh perspective on a very old topic-grief, loss, what to say, what not to say. A deeply moving and Inspirational look at just exactly how to be more effective at the greatest time of loss. The author gives you tangible direction and tools to fully prepare you to bring so much more than the cliche ineffective tracks of the past one hundred years! A very good read. I read the book in one night.

—Don Meredith

As a former law enforcement professional and now attorney, I’ve been faced with many emotionally difficult situations for victims’ families. Trying to find the right words to comfort them was always challenging. This book by Paula Shaw has been a valuable resource in those difficult situations. I highly recommend it for anyone who needs to know what to say when you don’t really know what to say. Thank you, Paula, for the excellent work!

—Donald P. Brigham

Paula does such a great job of making her very powerful points without over-embellishing. It was refreshing to get succinct, helpful advice and know that, should the occasion rise for putting her concepts into practice, I can go straight to her book again. Yes, we all have times when we are either needing to give or to receive comfort.

—Dean Andrews